Happy Day after Christmas! Hope you and yours had the best day and that your insides are filled with love and joy.
I’m sitting this morning enjoying a warm cup of coffee and the kids are in the living room playing with their toys and I can’t stop laughing. See, yesterday one of the funniest things happened that has had us in a constant state of laughter for about 12 hours now. It was so funny, that I just feel it would be unjust to keep it to just a small few.
My friends and readers are always writing me and asking me for more stories. So my friends, here you have it, the story of “Oh Grammy!”
P.S. This is I no way intended to offend anyone. If you are easily offended, please don’t continue reading.
Last weekend, the hubs and I hosted our annual Christmas party with some of our closest friends. A great night of eating, drinking and being merry!One of the traditions of the night, besides spending time together and giving thanks for health and happiness is the white elephant gift exchange.
Like most white elephant gift exchanges there is a max dollar amount put on the present and once a gift is open there are only two steals before the gift freezes and can no longer be taken. Most of us have been friends for 15+ years and therefore the gifts require a little more thought. Sure some are bottles of liquor, some are re-gifted items, some are shot glasses from our friends wedding from 10 years ago where they ordered an extra hundred shot glasses by accident. The best is that each year we get a few hidden gems where they make the group laugh and laugh. Especially when we see who opens them and who is left with which ones to take home. Like a big bottle of “Hot Damn” we were left with. DOH!
One of the gifts this year was a box of “adult” content items, including liquor and a small feathery whip-like thingy, a “life-size” male genitalia bottle opener made out of wood, and some lotions and such. Oh dear right?? Thankfully I did not get this gift and all sort of gasped and giggled when we saw our friend pull out each of the items from this box.
The night goes on and there is a lot of fun having by all. Soon the group starts to dwindle and our friend who had received this adult box was missing the bottle opener from the gift. Which then makes those who are left celebrating laugh more and more thinking about who had taken it home and hoping said person who took it, didn’t have children at home because what are you going to do explaining what a wooden life size male part bottle opener is for. Yeah, good luck with that!
Fast forward to Christmas Day at the Diapers-n-Heels house. The morning was just the five of us (DNH Dad, myself, DNH Girl, DNH Boy, and DNH Dog.) We opened presents and played and had the best morning. After breakfast, we packed up all the remaining presents for the family into a huge bin and headed off to my sister’s house. There we would meet up with the rest of the family and play the day away and have dinner and spend the day. We did just that. Such a fun day. With the kids eagerly awaiting the opening of gifts, we all gathered in the living room.
Before I continue on with the story, you should know a few different things. One is that this was the first year that DNH Girl had a Holiday Market at her school. We sent her to school with some money and a list of people from the family and she (along with help from the teachers) picked out and bought Christmas presents for members of the family. They wrapped and labeled them at school, so there were different gifts under the tree. Also, we had aunts and uncles and grandparents out of town that sent us bundles of gifts. I tell you this so that you know there were other gifts then ones I supervised.
Okay, on with the story. We gather in the living room and everyone is handing gifts and the kids are all tearing gifts apart and we’re digging all kinds of presents out of the bin that we brought and its pretty chaotic. One of the last gifts I pull out of the bin is one addressed to Grammy. Hmm, I think. We don’t call anyone Grammy. I wonder who sent this gift? I look at it in wonder because its wrapped in my wrapping paper and with my ribbon, but the paper is crumbled like it was re-wrapped or something. Weird right? Well in all the chaos of the group opening gifts, in the split minute decision, I think, well maybe it was one of the gifts DNH Girl had bought at school and DNH Dad had to re-wrap and just stuck the gift tag back on. So I turn to DNH Girl and ask her to deliver this to Jammy (my mom), who has the closest name to Grammy.
It is at this point, I’m turn to DNH Boy the other 10 people opening gifts and continue to laugh and open gifts. This is when out of the corner of my eye, I look over to my Mom who has a weird look of disgust on her face. And she looks over at me and across the room says… “What the…” and holds up the MISSING BOTTLE OPENER! It took only a few seconds for it to set in and as if I was walking across water, I got to her in a matter of seconds to grab it out of her hands where she looks at me and says… “That’s offensive!” OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
It is at this point, I’m hysterically laughing and freaking out at the same time because I don’t want anyone else to see the present that my dear friends left us with.
After running back to the other side of the room and trying to re-wrap and cover up this lovely present, I hear a roar of laughter from my brother-in-law who at this point has fallen out of his chair laughing so hard at what had just gone down. Okay, one person had seen it, who else? I scan the room quickly and lock eyes with DNH Dad. He looks at me with a questioning look and continue to frantically assess not only what to do with this thing, but who’s seen it. I mouth to DNH Dad that the mystery of where the MISSING BOTTLE OPENER had gone, and he starts to laugh uncontrollably. It is at this point the rest of the family turns to me and is wondering what had just happened. The next 10 minutes was me attempting to cover up the bottle opener and put it in a place where my nosy 10 year old nephews wouldn’t find it. Oh my gosh… what is happening.
The whole group at this point is looking to me wondering what just happened and asking for the story. I quickly tell them the 60 second version of the story and they all laugh with us. Once I told the story, my mom began to laugh. All I can say is that of all the people, I’m so glad it was my Mom that opened it. Oh man, we laughed and laughed the rest of the afternoon. DNH Dad texted the group of our friends in which one finally sent over this picture. With the caption, “Was this the present you were talking about?” That my friends is the present under our tree at the DNH house! HOLY COW! Well played my friend, well played!
And that my friends is the story of Oh Grammy! Until next year when the MISSING BOTTLE OPENER may end up addressed to your favorite Grammy my friends!