This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Clorox.
It should come as no surprise to those that have been following along, that we like to keep things fun, lighthearted and happy around here. That of course doesn’t mean that we don’t hit our fair share of bumps in the road, it just means we’re not always highlighting the “dark side” of being a mom.
Dark side you ask? Yes, there is a dark side. We all have them and they aren’t pretty.
Because its almost the end of the week and the weather has been kind of crummy, I figured I’d share with you a recent story where I went over to the dark side.
The kids and I were invited up to Los Angeles for an event and we decided it would be even more fun if we brought along my Mom, Jammy, for some fun too. From the moment I opened my eyes that day, I just knew it was going to be one of those days. You know, one of those days when you have to coordinate and time everything just right, or it could fall to pieces?
Wouldn’t you know it, of all the mornings, I woke up late. Yep, its going to be one of those days. I start running around like a crazy person trying to wrangle DNH Boy who is running around screaming something about Batman and has a serious case of bedhead. I’m having to peel DNH Girl out of bed and fed to get out the door to make it to speech, then to pick up my Mom, Jammy, and then on the road up to La La Land.
I hear myself repeated “We’ve got to go. We’re late!” I finally slap a little makeup on my face and we are out the door. We make it to class and now its off to pick up Jammy and we’re off. Thirty minutes to my Mom’s were she’s waiting for us and jumps in the car and we’re off again. Adventures of Los Angeles here we come.
For those who aren’t familiar with the Southern California, San Diego County is connected to Orange County by 10-15 miles stretch of military land called Camp Pendleton. During this stretch there virtually no off ramps and no where really to turn around. We hit the last off ramp before Camp Pendleton and not a few minutes later, BAM – traffic is at a complete stop. Oh man! I think to myself, yep, we’re going to be late,,but keep trucking along trying to figure out if it was an accident, how long we’re going to be here.
One thing I hadn’t realized is that by this time, the kids and I left the house almost two hours ago. Trying to keep it fun we start singing and playing alphabet games. After about 45 minutes we had gone about 1 mile. At this point, I’m thinking that we’re not only going to be late to the event, but that we’re not going to make the event. Its right about this point, I hear DNH Boy say the one word you really don’t want to hear when you are virtually stuck on the freeway with nowhere to go. “Poop!” “Oh no buddy, I’ll try and find a place to get over and pull off to change your diaper” Not 60 seconds later, DNH Girl chimes in. Mommy, I have to poopoo too. OH DEAR GOD… “Okay babe, let me try and get the car over 3 lanes and then find a space on the side of the freeway. Yeah, cause that’s easy.
Keep in mind, everyone else had been sitting in traffic for the last hour as well and I’m sure had much more pressing meetings they had to get to, but dude, I need to get over. My blinker is on, but no one is letting me over. My Mom is trying to wave people down trying to get them to let us over, and my anxiety is pretty much through the roof. Baby girl is starting to panic as its time for her to go and well, we aren’t anywhere we need to be. I finally get over, and over and literally off road trying to get off the freeway to a safe place.
Warning, the next paragraph might get a little icky, so if you’re easily grossed out, please do not continue.
I quickly yank DNH Girl out and get her to the side of the car and try and hold her up as she has to go. After doing her business, I quickly run to the bag that I had packed for the day and realize with an OMG that in running around this morning I hadn’t packed the wipes. WHAT??? In a panic I ravage the back of the car all the while baby girl has her booty in the wind waiting for some wiping action. Anxiety level, 1 to 10, I’m at a 10. I find an old package of wipes, but there is just one dried up wipe in there. I quickly run over to help a sister out only to find that more than one wipe is needed. My mom pulls a tissue from her purse and says… use this. So we get her all cleaned up and I hear little mister… “Mama, poop!” OH MY GAWWWWDDDDDD…. What is happening right now. My mom hands me the last of her tissues and says, maybe you can get it all with this.
So after getting DNH Girl back into the car (on the side of a dead stopped traffic filled freeway), I pull DNH Boy out of the car seat to take him to the back of the SUV where the back is opened and ready to change him. While pulling him out of the seat, I see that said poop was no only in the diaper, but had traveled up the back, out his pants and up to his shirt and all over the carseat. YEP, this is that day. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? At this point, anxiety at a 15, I move him to the back of the car and begin to strip him down. I have two spare diapers and so one is going to be used for the clean up and the other for wearing. Did I mention that DNH Boy is 2??
I start to take all his clothes off and just about to get the diaper off when he wiggles out and stands up in the back of the car as people are passing by and there is poop everywhere! He thinks it funny to run around the back of the SUV and runs out of my reach heading back towards the inside of the car. NO!!!! Yep, covered in poop he swings his leg over the back seat and starts jumping around the back seat. My mom and and his sister are screaming at this point, and I’m I’m screaming for him to get back here and all the while… WE HAVE ONE TISSUE! I finally catch him before he gets to the front seat and everyone is screaming. At this point, I’m now covered in poop, a good portion of the back seat and carseat are covered in poop and I’m trying to wrestle him down to get a “clean” diaper on him!
Yes my friends, this is glamorous parenting at its finest. I do my best at cleaning him up and grab my sweatshirt to use as a barrier between the car seat and DNH Boy. I’m pretty much striped down to my bra using my closes to clean whatever I can and jump back in the car. The car is now completely silent and I look at my mom, looking for a little sympathy and a look of can you believe this.. and you know what happens? We both start laughing hysterically. Seriously, did that just happen on the side of the freeway???
Needless to say, we never made it to the event in LA that day. We were in the car for probably another 30 minutes before I found a break in the freeway and made an illegal U-Turn to get us back home. Once we were home it was everyone into the bath and all clothes into the laundry and the car… well the car got its own head to toe Clorox bath.
Lessons learned?? My car will never be left without wipes EVER AGAIN!
Clorox Ick Awards
Did you know that Clorox has an award show? Yep, its the Clorox Ick Awards and its on Wednesday, April 9 from 6-10 p.m. ET. Its a virtual award show that features real-time comedy and some funny real-life #ickies moments, like the poop incident of 2014. During the show, Clorox will be giving away $2,500 in prizes. If you have an funny icky moment you want to nominate, follow @Clorox on twitter you can by sharing it using #ickies. You will be entered to win! WOOHOOO!
This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Clorox.